wellbeing

Opening up

I’m really not the sort of person who opens up easily about myself. Some people might find that weird given that I’m on the radio every evening talking to thousands of people, but I rarely talk about myself and my life on air. After all, my show is about other people and their talents, not about me.

But recently I was asked by the insanely talented Jack Louis Cooper to appear on a digital series he was putting together talking to men who work in the creative industry about their career and mental health. Having had a rocky start to 2021 and needing some space away from my job to deal with that, Jack asked if I’d be open to talking about it with him on a recorded Zoom call that he could publish on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter… I was apprehensive, like MASSIVELY apprehensive but I’m glad I agreed to it.

It’s always a weird experience being ‘the other side’ of an interview. I’m so used to being the one asking the questions of guests on my radio show (of which Jack was a guest talking about his amazing music - check it out here). So when I was on the receiving end of some of the questions Jack had for me I had to really think about the answers I was giving, especially as they were about mental health and wellbeing.

Jack put me at ease so wonderfully though. Take time to give the interview a watch in the player above and drop a comment on the video too, let Jack and I know what you thought of it. I’ve already had a few texts and messages from a few people about it since it was published. Some from people I hadn’t heard from in ages and one from a mate of mine who told me exactly what I needed to hear. So your comments really do mean the world.

I’m not ok.

I’m not ok. And that’s ok. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to in the last few weeks. Lockdown 3.0 has hit me hard, as it has a lot of people.

I’ve not posted on here in so long. It’s been a tough few months ey? Time to fess up. On air I try and stay upbeat and positive, but the last 10 months have been a struggle for me.

I live on my own, I worked right the way through the pandemic and I’ve struggled with being away from my friends and family. I know I’m lucky to still be working and in a job. But I also know that there are countless things to be grateful for and believe me I’m incredibly grateful for the things I had managed to achieve in 2020. I’ve got my own flat sorted, presented four national shows across the local BBC Radio network (3x Upload Festival shows, 1x Best of Upload show), I’ve hit the milestone of presenting my own radio show for two whole years and played hundreds and hundreds of incredibly talented people on air who have submitted their unbelievable creativity via BBC Upload. I’m chuffed to bits that I’ve done all of those things and that most of you who follow me on my social media channels or on my blog here have helped and supported me in one way or another to achieve all of that. Thanks for being awesome.

Here’s to 2021 being better. Yeah, I know... It hasn’t started the best. We’ve been thrown into Lockdown 3.0 and for many of us the vaccine seems AGES away because of how far down the list we are, but let’s keep as upbeat as possible.

When I posted this photo on Instagram, it was my first post in months. I wrestled with whether to post it or not. But I did. I try and keep so upbeat and positive when I’m presenting on air, but I worried that cracks were starting to show. I was blown away by the incredible comments that came in on the post. Lots of support from friends, strangers, people I’ve played on the radio. One person was moved to write a poem based on the post, praising my honesty and vulnerability that I’d shown in posting it. The conversations I’ve had with people since posting it have helped me so much. Thanks if you’ve reached out. Love you all. x